Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
