So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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