I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize