A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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