roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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