She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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