I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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