Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
