wakey wakey hands off snakey
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I need a beard to bite.
Randomize
