i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
