No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize