if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize