Don't make out with my wife yet
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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