I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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