I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
