My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Randomize
