Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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