just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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