Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I did not marry a roomba.
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