just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
