Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
