Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
