...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
