Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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