matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
