Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize