White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
