i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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