Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
