I would go down on you faster than GM stock
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
