your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
