next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
