Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
