so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
