Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
