i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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