The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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