we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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