Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
