My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize