Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
