I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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