Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
