new low.... made out with someone while peeing
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
