He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
