So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
