drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize