And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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