How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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