I cockslap morals
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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