What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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