I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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