I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
