So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
