I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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