I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
