Well apparently he's into motor boating.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
