Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
