Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
