I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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