Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
