yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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