Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
