but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
